why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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