btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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