Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize