Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
im holly from the hills drunk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
