There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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