I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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