you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
