i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
