I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
