therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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