So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
