very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
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all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you