I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
