Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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