so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
