Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
