im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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