): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
