I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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