Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
