Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
