Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize