There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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