Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
