The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
