She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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