Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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