**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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