3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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