we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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