omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
