Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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