we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
