I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
