I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize