Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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