He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
