her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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