don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
