you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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