break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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