He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
