apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
