I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
