Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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