Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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