Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
