Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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