I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize