Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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