Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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