I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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