Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
