Porn is love you can see.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Drunk is a universal language darling
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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