Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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