Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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