why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
