i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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