What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it glows. i had to have it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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